Where am I? I'm at the point where "pathetic" is the only way to describe my life.
Seriously. I'm pathetic. 19 years old and I can't be happy in life. Isn't 19 the "highlight of your life" or something like that? I feel extremely stuck at where I am.

I am not adventerous. I don't take high risks. I am afraid of too many things. These things are preventing me from loving my life! I can't even describe how boring last semester was. I mean, I know I was prevented from doing a lot of things because I had no money, but honestly, I blame myself. I didn't reach out to people. I was too busy making lists in my head of why I hated my roommates that I didn't get to know them, join them in activities that they invited me to, or meet their friends and expand my circle. I regret it now. I mean, don't get me wrong, they are seriously messed up in the head and everytime I look at Tabitha's facebook, I have an overwhelming feeling to vomit and then write mean things on her wall. Still though, I could have tried harder. Why was Fall 2007 so much better? Because My roommates were social. I got to know their friends and they were cool. Becca was bringing new people around all the time it seemed. I mean, I felt extremely left out that I was the only one that had never had a date EVER that semester, but all in all, the semester was fun! I met like 200 new people in one week! Summer 2008, I didn't meet any more than 30 people the entire semester. The people I did meet were in my classes. I never hung out with them outside of class. I sift through people's pictures on facebook and see them engaging in awesome activities like bridge jumping, trips to Yellowstone, going through the ice caves, 4 wheeling, etc. I look at my pictures and I see me and Trevor and me and Niccole sitting around. Maybe a trip to the mall in Idaho Falls. Woo. How very sad it is that I didn't partake of the attractions around my school!

This semester i'm changing it up. I have already made a list of things I want to do this semester:

1. Go to Yellowstone.
2. Go to the wind caves.
3. Go to the ice caves.
4. Take a trip to Provo to see my friends at BYU.
5. Take a random trip to Salt Lake and get a hotel room for me and random friends.
6. Go to the Dance Battle Wednesday things more than once.
7. Make an effort to meet people in my classes, in my ward, and just in general.
8. Go stadium singing every Sunday like I did Fall 2007.
9. Attend Devotional.
10. Go camping in the mountains.
11. Hike the "R" (Mountain)
12. Go to Jackson Hole, WY and while there, tour the "Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum".
13. Make homeade pickles.
14. Have a snowball fight during the first snow of the season.
15. Attend General Conference in Salt Lake.
16. Go to Canada.
17. Visit Bear World.
18. Visit my aunt and uncle in Boise for a weekend.
19. Visit my 2nd cousin, Shannon, for a weekend.
20. Get something at the dairy that has like 30 different kinds of flavored milk.
21. Get all the free things on my starving student card.
22. Go to the gym at least 3 times a week.
23. Have dance parties at least once a month.
24. Get Rockband for Niccole's Wii.
25. Have a party and have a pinata.
26. Go sledding down the hill by the upper playing fields.
27. Go iceskating at the outdoor ice rink when it opens.
28. Go bowling in the MC at least 2 times.
29. Attend at least 1 ballroom, latin, and swing dance night in the MC.
30. Go to a school function (like choir concerts, orchestra recitals, etc).
31. Read scriptures daily.
32. Try and be good and actually go to church more than 3 times in the semester...and stay the whole time.
33. Have at least 5 facebook albums of Fall 2008.
34. Go on dates with at least 5 different people.
35. Buy one of those stupid craft things for little kids and spend a Saturday doing them with my roommates and/or friends. (Like the Shrinky Dinks, Stained Glass, or Pottery things?)
36. Have a huge HSM3 party when it comes out and be sure to let everyone know that I know Zac Efron. lol
37. Sell my car by the end of the semester.
38. Have a themed movie night.
39. Run around campus dressed up as ninjas with select friends.
40. Attend one of the flashmob activities.
41. Learn new ways of cooking potatoes during harvest season.
42. Be skinny by the time I get home.
43. Pick huckleberries.
44. Make out with someone in the gardens. lol
45. Get my GPA up so i'm not on academic probation anymore.
46. Drive to Utah just to eat at Red Robin.
47. Ride a horse.
48. Have an awesome fire and make s'mores and roast Starbursts.
49. Make at least one video of me and other people doing something really really stupid.
50. Go to Idaho Falls to go dumpster diving and experience the art of Freeganism.
51. Go to a party at the dunes.
52. Go to a "Rock Your Abs" class at the Hart Building.
53. Get back in a routine of doing yoga daily.
54. Go to Provo for Halloween and attend the Howel at Utah State. It's supposedly an extremely awesome party.
55. Go to the Haunted Mill for Halloween.

And that's just a list. Hopefully I will be able to do even more than those things. I want to fill my life with EXCITEMENT and I don't care HOW stupid that sounds. I'm sooo tired to sitting around waiting for other people to entertain me. I won't be in Idaho forever, so I need to take advantage of everything while I am there.

It is so sad that my life is and always has been really really boring. I want to change it. If I want it to be changed, though, I have to take the initiative and make an effort.

I can't wait. This semester is going to be the best thing since Toaster Strudel!! :)